Hot Topics
Relationships
Guys
Girls
Sex
gf/bf Advice
Ask Brock/Ask Jenrepresent™ Magazine Articles |
Have Sex with Friends?!
What do I really want? What am I hoping for in a relationship? You know, let's play the "If-I-could-have-exactly-what-I-want-in-a-relationship" game. I want a REAL relationship. I want something meaningful. I want him to love me and respect me. I want things in common with him. I want common goals. I want a lot of things. (Don't get me wrong, I hope I can have all of these things with a hottie, but there are qualities other than hot.)
Alright, but let's think this through. Would I want a guy who has been busy exploring the "benefits" of every girl this side of the Mississippi? Is that the kind of guy I want? I personally believe that we develop our character by our actions. So a guy living that lifestyle-what is he becoming? He's becoming a guy who just hooks up with whomever, wherever, whenever. Why do I suppose that habit will just disappear once he meets me and we want something more substantial in a relationship? Chances are it won't─those habits are tough to break.
So, if that's not the kind of guy I would want to end up with, doesn't it make sense that I shouldn't be that kind of girl? A guy with character, a guy who has avoided the whole serial spit─swapping (or worse) thing will be looking for a girl who has avoided it too.
So, I'm not too hip on the "friends with benefits" thing when I place it in the context of my whole life and how I am going to achieve my own goals in a relationship.
And one other thing: what are these elusive "benefits" that we can get from our friends if they're willing? Is this safe behavior? I'm not a physician or anything but I assume that the same rules of STI transmission that apply to relationships, apply to friend-to-friend relationships. If I can get HPV from skin-to-skin contact with my boyfriend, wouldn't it be safe to assume the same could happen with skin-to-skin with my buddy?
One last thought that came to mind in the midst of this contemplation─realistically─ would this "friend with benefits" even work in the REAL WORLD? How many times have I gotten a crush on someone who was just my friend and then had to go through disappointment when nothing came of it? That's just a crush! What if I were making out with the guy? The truth is, emotional attachments WILL form for one person or the other. Let's not kid ourselves about that and about how painful that can be. All in all then, this "friends with benefits" thing doesn't actually seem so beneficial. |
|||
Operation Keepsake, Inc. 545 North Broad Street, Suite 2, Canfield, Ohio 44406
About Us | Contact Us | Disclaimer & Funding Statement Copyright ©2010 Operation Keepsake, Inc. All rights reserved. You may reproduce materials available at this site for your own personal use and for non-commercial distribution. All copies must include this copyright statement. |
||||
Print Article
So, I was browsing through a popular magazine a few weeks ago and they were doing a piece on "friends with benefits." What a concept, I thought. Being a single girl myself, I was intrigued; "friends with benefits" sounds interesting. I have guy friends-some hot ones-and, well, why not maximize those relationships between now and the time I meet Mr. Right?