There are many reasons why people break up.  Here are a few common scenarios: 
• The relationship is unhealthy with one party domineering or abusing the other.
• The relationship is too serious, and while both parties care, they are looking to their future goals and dreams and need to slow down in order to keep it all in perspective.  Both parties need to find out who they really are and what they want out of life before they are ready to be married and share in someone else's life.
• The relationship will not go anywhere because one party wants to move on with their life--alone. 

Whether you find yourself in a situation like the ones mentioned, or if it's completely different, to continue dating someone who isn't right for you will hurt you and the other person.  So, is there at least a better way to break up?  Are there things that should or should not be done when breaking up with someone?  Here are a few dos and don'ts to get you started.
DO:
• Prepare what you're going to say ahead of time and practice it.  By doing this, you will be confident and not easily flustered or tempted to change your mind.
• Convey to your BF/GF beforehand that this will be an important talk.
• Talk to them face-to-face--it shows you care.
• Be gentle and sensitive--don't make it harder than it is.
• LISTEN!  Let your BF/GF share their feelings as well.
• Be firm--don't be easily persuaded or give in. Know how you feel.
DON'T:
• Be persuaded by smooth talking or "promises" that "things will be different."
• Break up over the phone or online (unless it's a physically or verbally abusive relationship).  Although it might seem easier, it's very impersonal.
• Do all the talking--let your BF/GF respond.  Stifled feelings will make everything worse.
  

If you are in a verbally or physically abusive relationship:
• Tell your parents or trusted adult.
• Make a plan to break off the relationship:
• Call to say the relationship is over (a face-to-face talk might not be wise in this instance).
• Stay with a group of friends and do not travel alone.
• Carry a cell phone with you.
• Communicate with your parents.  Having code words wouldn't be a bad idea.
• Call 911 if you are in immediate danger.
• Do not return to the relationship.  (Even if they promise to change, they probably won't be able to unless they get counseling).
 

Remember, you are only responsible for your actions.  Do everything you can to be kind, honest, and respectful.  Treat the other person the way you would want to be treated if you were in his/her shoes.  Even if your BF/GF doesn't handle the news very well or blows up at you, stay calm and collected.  Don't match his/her hot temper with your own angry response.

Okay, so now what?  You were a couple, now you're single.  Everything feels different.  Of course you'll need a little bit of time to process the hurt, but as quickly as possible, begin to make choices that will get you back on your feet.  Do something fun with a brother or sister you've neglected for awhile, join a team, or shop till you drop with your best friend.  The possibilities are endless!

Don't worry about finding the perfect BF/GF right now.  Focus on what you want out of life.  Pursue your dreams and goals.  I once heard a great quote: "Become the right person instead of trying to find the right person, and then you'll attract the right person."  So often we spend so much time looking for our "true love" or "perfect person" that we forget that as young people, now is the time in our lives to discover who we really are and what we enjoy in life.  We're only young once.