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I’ve really been struggling with being the Shy Guy in my school, and especially in my group of friends. There’s a girl that I like and I’m not sure how to ask her out. Any advice?
Being shy is not unusual. Since you are feeling uncomfortable about how you should ask this girl out, we might suggest that you get to know her a little better. Try to spend some time with her in a group setting. Get a group together for pizza and a movie. Make sure she is included. If you do not know her well enough to ask her yourself, have someone who knows her better tell her about the movie night at your house. If you have friends around, you both will be more relaxed. After spending time with a group, start talking one on one. Give her a call, send her a text, find out what you have in common. From there, it’ll be a lot easier to bust out of the Shy Guy routine.
I’ve been dating a guy and it’s been great so far! We’ve talked about our boundaries and we’re both on the same page. But, we are struggling. We need some help to keep things cool and under control.
Great job! We have found that most couples do not talk about boundaries. Teens tell us it is awkward to talk about physical boundaries with their bf/gf—but it’s so important! Our advice to keep things under control is to stay in public places. Bedrooms and dark basements are not ideal places to hang out if you are serious about respecting one another’s boundaries. If you do not have more formal plans than watching a movie together, make sure little sister or brother are around! Stop making excuses about not being able to afford a real date. If you have a plan, it’s less likely that you will put yourself in a compromising situation. There’s a lot of things you can do that are fun, even for penny pinchers.
- Catch a baseball game—lots of communities have professional or minor league teams. Cheap tickets can be found (under $10 each in some cases)! What about going to watch your little brother or sister at his/her game? Or, better yet, join a rec team. Most communities have teams you can join for free.
- Movie afternoon! You know, that movie you’ve been dying to see but can’t swing the cost? Check it out on a rainy Saturday afternoon! Movies are cheaper during the day.
- Concerts! Catch some rays and listen to some chill music. Outdoor concerts are fun and many are free in the summer and fall. If there is a cost, it is usually less than you would expect. If you follow our advice in Pocket Change, you can spend some of the extra cash you have saved to catch your favorite band!
- Plan an afternoon with friends. Pack a picnic lunch and play Ultimate Frisbee. If the weather isn’t cooperating, pack the picnic and go to someone’s house for a pool tournament.
No matter what you do, remember, if you are both laughing and having a good time, you will find it easier to keep things from heating up.
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